Is FOMO Real?

Reading Time: 4 minutes Where did FOMO come from and is FOMO real?
Here Peter Hanley has a tongue in cheek look at the disease and what to do about it.

Reading Time: 4 minutes

I am often questioned Is FOMO Real? As a long term veteran of this industry and a long term FOMO sufferer, I want to tell you it is real and manageable

What is FOMO?.

It is described in modern day parlance as “The Fear Of Missing Out”

When you search the web you will find a bundle of articles on this mostly related to teens and Facebook users.
I searched Wikipedia and Urban use pages and did not find the one I wanted so had to make up my own mind on this.

My family have accused me of this since before the word was first introduced and it predates the electronic version of the word.

I do like to be included in the fun things and would feel rejected if left out.

In fact, there was a saying along the lines of ” Don’t ask Peter unless you really want him to come.” The belief was that I would accept every invitation offered me. Hardly true of course but I accept the comments graciously.

Along came Facebook and messaging and the world changed, now add Instagram and a few others and we really have a reason to be anxious.

Yes, I have Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and LinkedIn because I just have to be there.
We need to like every post or make a comment lest we are thought less of.

Fear of missing out, or FOMO, is “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent”. This social anxiety is characterized by “a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing”.

 

Where it all starts

I experienced this recently at the birthday party of a two-year-old. This is a great time for the kids to get presents because they can really enjoy them for the first time and lots of Aunties and Uncles are keen to show they care.
At the same time, the four-year-old sibling is having a national crisis with no presents coming their way.
I am old school and let them suck it up but many buy a special present to appease the tears and tantrum. Does this create a life long phobia?

Yes, every time someone else gets something or does something good they need to be rewarded as well. A special present that will last for life.

My problem started in reverse. I had an older brother by four years so he was able to do and get things before me. New Scooter, a push bike, a car the list of my envy goes on and stays with me to this day.
I was missing out, pure and simple.

We are also guilty of promoting this in children’s’ sport. Think about this for just a moment.
The kids play a team sport and every week someone gets an award. It is something small in size or price but huge in consequence and recognition.
To make sure everyone is included it is not given for achievement it is rotated among everyone on the team. Each week little Johnny needs to suck it up a bit but understands the rules that their time is coming.
Would you think this as a training school for FOMO

 

The Internet took FOMO a step forward

Your Bestie posts great photos of a recent hang out on a tropical Island.
Everyone message to say did you see this and you quickly load Facebook for a gander at suntanned bodies sipping Pina Coladas in a Pool bar.
Oh, how the envy starts.
Not for them of course but the better photos they posted and everyone else is raving about them and forgotten your Ski trip of just a month ago

The young teens have a hard time with this when that invite to a birthday bash does not come to them. It even surpasses FOMO and is upgraded to social bullying. How dare they forget your little darling.

FOMO in business

My take on this is that it is a good thing. I don’t care whether it is called Jealousy or FOMO it drives me to be competitive.

This fear of missing out has driven me to compete more aggressively and to lift my achievement level. Then I get a reward for effort not just for competing.

I need to be seen as successful on my terms not because everyone gets a reward it’s because I went out and earned it by hard work and persistence

I post on Facebook because, not to, is not a consideration.
If someone is doing better than me I don’t sulk and throw a hissy fit I find ways to catch up and be in the winner’s circle.
You then get rewarded by success.

FOMO started in my childhood

FOMO starts in everyone’s childhood. It starts early and it’s now promoted by parents who encourage participating for fun and rewarding mediocre performance.

Everyone is your friend, we are all equal and we should be treated thus.
However, life is not like that. there are trolls and bullies and preferential selection of invite lists and we will miss out.

We just need to suck it up and not get all emotional about it and challenge our selves to do better.
FOMO is not a disease it is a learned art that needs to be unlearned. We need to self-cure to move on and be more comfortable in our own skin.

Say no to FOMO

 

In conclusion

In conclusion, I would like to say I am no expert, have no formal training or background to make comments. Being a relatively new problem we all have an opinion. Feel free to share your below

Finally

I have been in marketing for more years than I can remember. This includes being very active on the Internet for over 10 years. I promote free internet training at The Wealthy Affiliate.

and post on a different subject on most days.

Is FOMO real?
Peter Hanley

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Positive attitude

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Maintaining a Positive attitude is all in the mind they say but there are things you can do to help you have more up days than down.

Take your Meds

I don’t say this lightly as I understand that some people rely on them because of medical disorder and trying to go solo most often ends in disaster.

My simple solutions to a positive attitude

Simple solution #1
                  Have a plan of action on what you want to achieve. Not in your head, on Paper with dates and outcomes so you can track progress.

When you have no goals or outcomes and you simple wander free you are not achieving anything worthwhile.
All of the most famous achievers had one thing in common. a well thought out plan.

Wishing and hoping are not planning nor is mindlessly doing a day Job. Rock up at 8 and wait for payday is a plan for mental disaster. I HATE MY JOB. 
Hello, anyone in this camp that wants out? What about a change of attitude with some outcomes that you want.


Not all plans work

That’s why they call them plans not outcomes, you are allowed to change and modify with circumstances that are out of your control.


Meditation is a plan

Simpe exercise #2

I am not going all Buddhist here but clearing your mind of negativity works on your soul. Spend time by stripping all thought from your mind. Sounds easy but it takes practice to eliminate those nagging negatives streaming into your brain and draining you of power.
You can Hum, chant or imagine  a relaxing pursuit just relax, relax.

Does exercise work on attitude?

Simple exercise #3

There is unlimited evidence on exercise increasing your endorphins and giving you a feel-good attitude.

It can be a Gym, a run a walk, Yoga, Pilates, swimming. Bike riding or any exercise that dominates the body.
I Swim most morning, Sometimes I struggle to the beach and make excuses all the way on all the reasons not to do it

positive attitude


Afterwards, I bounce up the beach ready to take on the world. At night I walk to break between work and family so I can change attitude.
There is an old saying that you should leave your problems at the door, hang them on the coat rack they will be there when you get back. That includes the work door and the home door. They don’t mix well.

Simple rewards for achievement

When you achieve something you have planned reward yourself in some small way as recognition of success.
We all love presents so be the giver and the receiver to experience gratitude for effort applied



When you have a problem have a plan

We all have worrying problems that eat away at us and even keep us awake at night. You’r not on your own in this everyone has problems real and perceived. The difference is how we handle them.

Back to planning, Get your problem, have a strategy and work the plan. you will stop worrying if you are doing something about it.
Lack of action the greater the problem the more the worry leading to negativity.


In conclusion

These are a few simple ideas from a layperson without training that I hope can help.
In my 70’s still working, a couple of jobs 5 kids and partners, 13 Grand-kids and a lifetime in business has helped me stay sane and focused using all the above even to this day.

Hope I have given you some simple insight

positive attitude
by Peter hanley

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About Peter Hanley

Reading Time: 2 minutes

About Peter Hanley.

This is a brief expose on my life in business and the Internet. As an octogenarian, I bring a few years of wisdom and show that age does not decline the ability

MY STORY

I have been in business most of my life and it has been very good to me. My speciality was an ability to see new opportunities and take them to fruition.one such venture started with a small office, a desk, telephone and not much else.
Within a few short years, that company was listed on the Australian stock exchange and the shares rose to 5 times the original value within days.

I toured Asia working in most of the major centres as a consultant in Radio Paging. One of my more interesting jobs came from The chairman of the company I worked for. I was in Malaysia at the time in sweltering tropical heat and was dispatched to Shenyang in China at about -17c. My instructions were to obtain a paging licence and not come back without it. Working in China is a challenge and I declared never to return after I finally left with Licence in hand.

 

 

Why I want to help people

I had to get someone to do a webpage for a business I was operating at the time. Anyone can do a website I thought so I got anyone to do it. Naturally, it was a disaster so I set out to learn as much as I could about the Internet

That got my interest in all things Internet and I recognised the lack of knowledge of most business people.

THE GOAL OF MY SITE

The goal of this site ( one of Many) is to lead you to training that will provide you with as many tools as you need to learn INTERNET.
I have been in this spot for a few years and wasted money on many courses. That was until I came across THe free training at Wealthy Affiliate.

Things to avoid

At one time I bought a $7 course. The next day I needed to contribute $47 and a few days Later $97 and On it went.

I logged a cancel request and my reason was too many upgrades. The course owner came back with what did you expect?
I expect honesty, clarity and to visualise the journey before I start

If you ever need a hand or have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to help you out.

All the best,

About Peter Hanley

Peter Hanley
www.newbusinessonline.net